Modern Relationships

This generation is lost on the idea of Love.  Love is not measured by how much you or your significant other spent at Jared's. This word has been defamed to the fullest extent of its definition.  No longer does this word hold any value or meaning, it is simply a four letter word that describes a materialistic, deceptive and manipulative feeling of justified selfishness. No one gender is to blame, both male and female have attributed to the slaughter of true Love. Just today I saw a commercial on T.V. advertising for a new dating website for cheating wives. Ladies and gentlemen, we have stooped to a brand new low, im not even sure if there are any ladies or gentlemen left.

      Welcome to the age of social networking! No need for mail order brides or prostitutes anymore! All you have to do is create a profile as the first step on your quest for a soulmate. Its ok, use your unemployment card to sign up, and if you ever get a chance to meet in person you could use your foodstamps to purchase sandwiches and juice boxes at foodlion, on your way back to your grandmas house you can stop at your local  dvd bootlegger. Now were not saying that this is everyones story, but there has been news coverage lately about unemployment fraud, and online dating was one of the top purchases on fraudulent unemployment cards.

So now that thats all out in the open, lets take a look at our cheating wives. Obviously it is  exciting  to lay next to your sleeping husband, and use the credit card he set up for you to register online, and chat with possible victims of a pathetic cougar.Whatever happened to leaving your wedding ring in your empty diaphragm case and going out to meet someone in person before physically cheating. Either way, he will find out, and online dating will have gained yet another customer of the most pitiful kind.


Loneliness is the leading cause of bullshit relationships, and trust us, the majority of relationships are based on everything except what they should be. The most obvious is actually quite honorable, yet it will still most likely end in turmoil. One night stands without protection. DNA testing will only delay the inevitable, with little hope of the outcome being in favor of either party. Other relationships are based on the fact that some people cant bear to think about being unwanted and unloved, so they will grab anything they can. Its not that you are unwanted or unloved, fact is, you scare them to death, so they run, very fast, in the opposite direction. Sure its cute when you text "Love you" to your special someone, but when you do so 15 times a day, it gets old quick, especially if they don't text the same thing back promptly and you call them and ask if they are ok. Nothings wrong with them! You are just annoying as hell and they are realizing very quick the mistake they've made. Lots of lonely people tend to try and rekindle relationships with ex's. Bad move! Even if the flame reignites it will be very short lived. Go out and meet new people, (or go online).

Below is a list of basic relationship advice.

1.Be careful when you exchange info, if you've caught yourself one of the lonely people who need constant reassurance, you don't want them to be able to contact you at anytime.(Although if you do, you could end it sooner than later)

2.Poems/Love letters written in "Netspeak" are frowned upon.

3.When dating online, don't be surprised when you NEVER find anyone worthwhile for a serious relationship, then again, if you are dating online, your standards must not be very high anyway.

4.If you are a cheater and your spouse or lover is faithful, break it off or kill yourself, every day you prolong the deception you die a little inside anyway.

5.Never under any circumstances tell your partner you love them, even if you think they might love you back, its most likely too early for that, and you will make yourself readily available to be used.

6.If you are seeking an honest, faithful relationship, sign up for speed dating at a retirement home.

7.Go into your new relationship with the most selfish intentions, understand the other party is doing the same thing.

8.Make sure everyone on facebook knows every detail about your relationship.

9.Do not put your spouse or special someone in your will, you will most likely end up permanently affixed within the foundation of a commercial building under construction.

10.NEVER under any circumstance go online for dating and relationship advice, you never know what kind of mischievous deviants will lead you astray, and into a situation where you could catch a resentment.